I graduated

Well,

I graduated. It took me long enough, don't you think? Actually, I've been out of school for the last last two months and just forgotten to post. I am in the process of looking for a job in which I in which I can use my bachelor of arts degree in communication and the English minor. I am also in the process of looking for an apartment that a friend and I can move into by August. Right now, I spend my days watching television and job hunting. I have updated my resume and gotten it out there to several places

Hey everyone,

I am not going to sit here saying that my life is the best. But I get the distinct impression that God is trying to point something out to me. But I am just not getting it. I mean, many of you have heard me talk about how influential joni Erickson Tada has been in my life. She is a amazing Christian woman who was paralyzed in a dining accident early in life.

Anyway I have received her on-line devotional emails for about a month. Amazingly, many of the devotionals have something to do with being happy with the way life life turns out and seeing God's presence in life. Even the small things. Basically, it was about having the "blues" . My dreams have returned. I am beginning to think that that is my only way of dealing with things Lately.

First, I was movingin with Rondalyn, now I am not. She is after all moving to Chicago. Seems quite happy with the idea. I am glad. But I am beginning to wonder what changed. Anyway, what Joni said today struck a. Cord

The Lord gives us gentle reminders of His intimate concern over every detail of our lives

I still don't know what's happening and it makes me nervous. But he has sent me people to teach me things. I needed to stay true

no one to blame

It's hard to believe, but I have no one to blame for the simple fact that I have no life.

It's late and I am probably more tired then anything else. But I am right. Sure, I am a college student just lounging around for the remainder of the month; before it's back to the grind of hard work. I had all of these plans for which I was going to do, but nothing panned. All my friends are out in the real world, while, I am stuck.

Forgive me if I get a little Meg Ryan: "So much of what I see reminds me of something in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around"

Speaking too soon

Getting your eggs in one basket before the chickens lay them can be so frustrating

It seems like I have been doing that a lot lately. The apartment situation is still up in the air. I guess I was hoping this would propel me into finally doing something and not being held back-by my situation. I thought everything was going to work out for once. But I guess I should be grateful my best friend is not moving to Chicago. Finding peace in the little things.

The funny thing is , I was just telling dad yesterday: " When God closes a door, he opens a window." I thought this was my window, my diving board. A starting point for everything possible in my life.

Help me find peace with whenever happens

wow, how things can change

Since my last post, a lot has changed for me. How is that possible in a few hours? Well, my best friend is not moving away and we are moving in together. We don't have the details yet. But, it's actually happening.

I still have my problems and struggles. But I am hoping this helps

sincerity

Lying awake in bed early this morning, I begin to question the meaning of sincerity. Is this a emotionally charged feeling connected to a cause? Or just a long term commitment to the cause even though you're questioning it or belief, but the logic and everything stands behind it anyway. So you stand tall. The truth is I don't really know and that makes me wonder. On the one, I am not to judge myself or others. On the other hand, I can do nothing but that. It's human condition and nature.

I was reading a friend of friend's blog today. She was talking about her struggles with children and life. As humans, we tend to think that everything difficult that happens to us is our fault and can be changed with prayer. While true, it doesn't always change to our exact specifications or liking. This means that we can't change the past or expect life to you perfect. Because it isn't. What she did say though, is that you always have a opportunity to pray for Joy.

I never thought of it like that.

Restore my joy, Lord

what's this world coming to?

Hey,
Ok, so I realize I haven't posted in this Journal for what seems like months. I have done most of my writing in my other journals. I had actually almost forgotten I had this one. I only occasionally check this one because a friend has a Journal and she occasionally updates. So I figured it was time for a change. Although, I doubt this friend will even check this one because I barely update here anymore.

Anyway, what's this world coming to these days? Freaky movies, changing lifestyles, and the media. Now I understand the media has the job of telling both sides of a story. That's a very rough job. But it would help to see something positive in the news once in awhile. The world seems so focused on the "self" that it's forgotten the fundamentals. My friends know what I am talking about. That's not to say I am perfect. I am Not. Hey, I even find myself changing to satisfy the "world" view. It's time to get back to basics for me.

I don't know what brought m the realization tonight. But I hope it stays.

Faith,

Hope,

and

Love

But the greatest of these is Love

I have been through a lot..

But God help me...

Change

You're the only one who can!

light at end of tunnel

ok,
So it's been a long time since I updated. I have about 3 blogs and its hard to keep everything straight. I have a lot of friends on lj, so that's why I primarily use that one. Anyway, long story short, I can see the end of the tunnel now when it comes to college. I am "walking" in May, which means I can participate in graduation. I will still have one semester to go with 11 credits. But at least I get to celebrate with my friends. That's what several of them are doing anyway.

It's kind of upsetting though because I don't know who will be able to make it for my special day. Dad may have to work, and tim can't make it. So I don't know what is worse

my plans after graduation. I have no idea. My parents have played around with the idea of moving again. Which leaves me deciding my fate. Do I stay or up root myself again. I have my own life here, with friends and a support system I know works.
on the other hand, do I want to be alone

Decisions, decisions